The Reflection[The Reflection]
I stare into the mirror at a reflection that is not my own.
I'm starring into a pair of eyes that show now emotion, only apathy.
I reach out to the reflection.
As the reflection mimics me, I begin to feel....
I feel the emptiness and lack of emotion my doppelganger possess.
As my mind and soul seep into the abyss, I realize....
I am now the reflection.
The Pane With Pain -Poem-[The Pane With Pain]
I see you there,
Paying no attention to me,
As I give all my time to you.
You look up and I see into your eyes,
But I must be transparent,
Because you peer right through me.
In that moment I feel pain.
To you, I am a pane of glass.
I hear you there,
You're not talking to me,
But I listen as if your sweet words belong to me ears.
You turn your head to listen,
But you don't hear my mumbled words.
There are feelings present but they are masked,
By my inability to speak them.
To you, I am a whisper you ignore.
Embed the dictionary in my brain,
So I will know what to say.
Show me a sign,
So I will know when to say it.
Tint this pane with pain,
So that you may see me before I break.
There is only so much glass can take before it shatters.
The Love I've Never Known[The Love I've Never Known]
Open your eyes, so that I may gaze into beauty.
Open your lips, so that the enchanting songs of a siren may fill my ears.
Open your mind, so that I may lose myself in your thoughts.
Open your arms, so that I may feel welcome to the presents of an angel.
Open your heart, so that I may feel the love I've never known.
Tell Me Where It Hurts...[Tell Me Where It Hurts...]
Where does depression hurt?
It hurts in your head.
Somewhere in your brain there are chemicals that aren't in check.
Who are you kidding?
You're just messed up.
It hurts in your face.
From crying every night.
Your face feels numb.
You have no emotion.
It hurts in your neck.
From all of the contemplations and dark thoughts.
It feels like it will snap.
Or maybe its from your first failed attempt at death.
It hurts in your arms.
You've been holding your head in your hands,
because your neck is weary.
Don't forget the bloody carvings and etchings from those nights you felt your worse.
It hurts in your stomach.
You've hardly eaten and you feel sick.
You try mediaction.
But one at a time is better than twnety at once.
Your heart hurts.
You begin to relax and your breathing slows.
You've finally found your escape.
A knife in your chest.
Suicidal Being[Suicidal Being]
Late at night,
lying in his bed.
Eyes shut tightly,
visions pooling overhead.
With morbid thoughts
and depressing emotions.
he waits to see the sun rise
with stagnant motions.
He hides from those he knows,
they can tell what he's feeling.
His heart reaches out to them,
but his mind rejects the healing.
He searches for drugs.
He takes the medications.
He tries to fight the urges;
to remove the temptations.
The bottles are empty,
he cosumed them all.
He begins to lose consciousness
as he starts to fall.
Back in his bed
where he would close his eyes.
Battles were fought in his mind.
He tried to imagine the thoughts were lies.
Time after time
the intensities would dim.
Apparently this time,
I got the best of him.
Stagnant Past Ten[Stagnant Past Ten]
He doesnt know why he feels this way.
All he understands is that he cant make it go away.
Lying in his bed,
Stagnant past ten.
Imitating death while still breathing.
Others would call it sleeping.
Allowing the over powering darkness to shroud
Hes screaming in his mind, no one can hear how loud.
There are no worries in the caliginous valley, or fear
The longer he stays, the more he wishes to disappear.
He asks the void to take everything away.
But it only throws him back into disarray.
He cant feel or sense a thing while hes in the black.
His senses are restored as he slips through the crack,
Back to a dim reality.
No More -Poem-[No More]
I awaken as the red star crawls over the horizon.
My mind wonders in hundreds of directions at once.
I think of the past,
I think of the future,
I think of the present.
I ponder on the endless results of my actions,
Though I never see the outcome I desire.
The only aftereffect I comprehend,
This foreseen darkness now clouds my perception.
I am forever lost in a fog of doubt.
Staring into a mirror that silences vigor,
I recognize not, the eyes that peer back with apathy.
All I perceive is vast darkness.
Ever more so, when my hand trembles the handle.
The equivalent is to be spoken,
As my eyes wonder down the black barrel.
I see vast whiteness, as it then fades.
Am I awake?
For I see nothing.
Am I sleeping?
For I do not dream.
Am I dead?
For I live, no more.
No Escape[No Escape]
Sitting in your room
with your door and windows locked,
you believe you're safe.
But you're never safe
from the darkness in your mind.
It slowly infests your thoughts
with doubt and ambiguity.
It alters your senses
and takes away your dreams.
My mind bleeds and the pool it forms are memories that haunt me.
Tears pouring off my face fall into the pool,
mixing together to form the abyss in which I am trapped.
I see a shimmer of light that I cannot grasp.
It distances itself from me the more I try to pursue its enchanting glow.